Dear Seeking a Story,

I’m going to let my good friend Tia Pappas answer this one. She told me this story when we first met, and I think it’s exactly what you’re looking for…

Hello! I’m Tia, co-founder of Habits at Work. This is a really important story about my first interaction with Habit at Work’s CEO, and the lessons I learned.

I was fresh out of college – in a new city, a new apartment, and starting a new career at Habits at Work. 

My first day on the job was the worst day of my career. 

That first day, Andrew, the CEO, invited me to join him at a keynote he was delivering for a customer in Chicago.

I didn’t know much about professional speaking at the time, but I knew enough to know that the keynote was a success.

When we walked out of the building, I was full of adrenaline and excitement, and definitely not expecting what came next. 

Before we even made it to the sidewalk in downtown Chicago, Andrew turned to me and said, “Okay, Tia, let’s do feedback. What’s one thing you thought I did well?”

I started listing the first 20 things that came to mind. Interrupting me, he said, “Just ONE thing, Tia. Thank you! Now, what’s one thing you think I could do differently next time?” 

For the first time all day, I had nothing to say.

I began to sweat, my mouth went dry, I was so nervous. “How could I give credible and useful feedback to a professional speaker and the CEO of my company in a domain that I knew nothing about?” I thought.

I proceeded to nervous talk the entire 15-minute walk back to the office without ever answering his question.

When we arrived back at the office, I thought I was in the clear until I heard a voice from behind me say, “Tia…” I turned around.

“At Habits at Work, we give, receive and take feedback very seriously. If you’re not able to do that, you’re not a fit for our company.” He wasn’t angry, or mean, but he was oh so clear!

OUCH!!!!! Am I right?

That night, I went home and I cried a little (okay, a lot), then I gave myself a pep talk and came up with a list of 10 ways I could have answered that question. Because I knew what was coming the next day. Andrew was, again, delivering a session to a customer and I was to attend. 

Sure enough, the next day Andrew asked me what he did well and what he could do differently. This time, I had an answer that was at least good enough not to get me fired that second day!

After that, every day we did feedback and every day I got a little better and a little more confident. And although I did not notice it myself, my feedback itself was getting better and more useful.  

But I didn’t fully realize the cumulative impact of that daily practice until a year later when Andrew was asked about his professional speaking journey during a Q&A and, specifically, about his speaking coach.

He said, “Well my coach is here today. I’d like to introduce her to you.”

I looked around for one of his professional (and expensive) speaking coaches but no one was there. 

Then, I noticed he was referring to me!

After my initial shock, I realized that I was no longer simply practicing the skill of giving feedback, I was now adding real value to his performance and improvement. 

For the last 6 months, I had taken the lead role in his coaching sessions and I had become, in his eyes, one of his most effective speaking coaches.

So, what was MY lesson?

Feedback may be uncomfortable to give and receive (I learned that the hard way my first day), but the power of feedback is undeniable in its ability to help us get good at getting great AT ANYTHING in record time! 

While I watched Andrew’s speaking improve, what I missed was that my coaching was improving, too! 

How did that result from this simple, daily practice of giving feedback?

At Habits at Work, we suggest a very simple formula for giving and receiving performance feedback called 2×2 feedback. This is how it works:

Immediately following a practice or performance, my coach will say to me, “What’s ONE thing you think you Did Well?”

I’ll think back on all the things I Did Well, choose the most powerful ONE thing and share that.

My coach will respond with a neutral, “Yes.” She won’t agree or disagree. She will simply acknowledge my self-reflection. 

My coach will then look at her notes, choose the ONE most powerful Did Well from her perspective and share that with me.

I will say, “Thank you,” because feedback is a gift!

By starting with what I Did Well, we achieve 3 things:

1. It allows me to focus on what had me stand out! If you want to be good, work on your weaknesses, if you want to be GREAT work on your strengths.
2. It builds my confidence.
3. As a result of being primed with the positive, I become open to hearing the constructive feedback that comes next. In a word, I become more coachable.

Then, my coach will say to me, “Tia, what’s ONE thing you think you can Do Differently next time?”

I’ll think back on ALL the things I could Do Differently next time, choose the most impactful ONE thing and share that.

My coach will respond with a neutral, “Yes,” allowing me to improve my own model of excellence through this self-reflection. 

Then, my coach will review her notes, choose the ONE most impactful Do Differently from her perspective and share that.

Again, I will say, “Thank you,” because feedback is a gift.

Ending with what I can Do Differently next time builds my competence.

Mastery in ANY skill is the sum of our confidence and competence and the 2×2 feedback model is our access to growing genius-level skills in any domain of our choosing in record time! 

Don’t believe me?

Answer this: If you were to practice one skill deliberately every day of the year for just 10-20 minutes a day, and you were to get 2×2 feedback on that practice, how much better would you be?

If we’re very pessimistic about the value of feedback and assume we only get 0.5% better each day (I’m sure you’ll agree that’s a very low and unimpressive bar), over a 5-year period we’ll become 90X better. Yes, you read that right, NINETY TIMES better at the given skill. 

No matter where you start, a 90X improvement over a five-year period will likely put you in the top 1% of performers in that domain. That’s genius-level skill right there. 

You see, feedback is like compound interest to our talent bank accounts! 

Deliberate practice with the intention of getting better, with the right kind of performance feedback from a coach is the genesis of genius!

Tia’s experience working directly with a CEO was transformational. I hope your time with your company’s CEO is just as educational. 

Sincerely,
Jenny