Dear Cara,

I’m so sorry to hear about your partner. I hope he or she feels better soon!

Know that it’s never too late for you to communicate with your employer. Even if you’ve already had a lapse in communication, don’t worry; as long as you’re still on the clock and communicating, things will be okay.

First thing: It’s important to let your employer know ahead of time about what you need. When a problem arises, the last thing anyone wants is to feel blindsided. It’s also important to let your employer know that you want to come back to work, so they don’t think you’re abandoning ship!

Secondly, I really hope you have an awesome relationship with your employer because if not it could make this process much more difficult. If you do have a good relationship, be sure and tell your boss how much you appreciate their support and understanding during such a difficult time.

If you don’t have a good relationship with your employer, now is the time to work on it! Try to rebuild trust and open communication channels by being honest about when you need help and providing frequent updates on what’s going on in your life.

You also need to make sure you’re setting digital boundaries. For example, if there’s anything you don’t want to get involved with at work (scary emails, etc.), make sure you turn notifications off on your phone and lock your computer when needed. This will guarantee that problematic things won’t find their way into your life while you’re away from the distractions of the office.

Also, your employer doesn’t need to know every single detail. Just be sure and share the main points that will help your employer feel better about giving you time off. For example, let your boss know that it might take a while for things to get back to normal when you return to work because of how much time you’ll need to adjust after caring for them. Also, make sure they know what kind of support they can expect from you (for example, if you’ll be checking in frequently to update them, or only check in a few times a week).

Finally, it’s important that your employer knows what to do IF/WHEN things don’t get resolved quickly like you originally planned. Let them know that you are committed to your job and will do everything you can to return when planned, but just in case things don’t work out that way (because let’s face it–life doesn’t always follow our schedules) tell them what they need to hear.

For example, “I hope to return in a few weeks. But just in case that doesn’t happen, I need you to know that I’m committed to doing everything I can to get back here as soon as possible.”

Good luck! And know that your employer deeply appreciates your talented and dedicated contributions to the team and company. No matter how hard times get, it’s always important to be professional and keep your commitments.

Sincerely,
Jenny