Dear Becca,

I’m so glad you asked! No one should have to choose between work and family. And there is no perfect balance because what feels great for one person (more time with the kids) may feel horrible for another (less chance of promotion). So the key, really, is in finding YOUR ideal work-life balance.

What do you think about the work-life balance idea?

I’m not sure I agree with “balance” at all. Balance implies a middle ground, and there’s no such thing regarding family and career. One side is always going to win out over the other sometimes, so seeking a magical time or place where this doesn’t happen is a fool’s errand – going back to your question, Becca, about whether there is such a thing as balance: No! But that doesn’t mean we can’t push for more of what works for us.

If you’re employed, it’s impossible to go completely off the grid. However, what you can do is carve out time for yourself. And that will require a tremendous amount of self-awareness and discipline. You’ll have to be honest with yourself about what you need and make some hard choices. But, it’s worth it! Here are three things I tell my clients when they ask me how they can get more balance:

1. The key is to understand what works best for you. For example, people often have the misconception that waking up early is the end-all and be-all of achieving balance. But sometimes, people are most productive at night, so it’s up to you to determine what’s truly best for you.
2. Structure your days, so you have time to do what matters most. This could mean carving out time for yoga, seeing a good friend, or unwinding with a glass of wine at the end of the day — whatever is crucial for you.
3. Apart from this, let’s debunk the myth that a work-life balance means not having to work during off-hours because, the truth is, entrepreneurs are always working. You have to learn how to ensure your work does not follow you home. And the best way to do this is with a solid separation between your work and personal spaces. So think about what you can do to minimize distractions during family time, including turning off notifications on smartphones and laptops.

So, work-life balance doesn’t just happen. If you want it, you have to fight for it. But, you should also be flexible and ready for things to change — you may want to grab a drink with a friend after work on a Wednesday, but your boss wants you to work late. And when that happens, it’s up to you to decide what needs to get bumped for you to go get that drink.

As long as you feel like you’re in control, it’s totally OK to give yourself a break.

Sincerely,
Jenny